Symptoms of Garden Lunacy
You don’t covet your neighbor’s spouse;
you covet your neighbor’s plants.
You go to a garden center to spend $5 for
things you don’t need, but end up spending $305 for things
you don’t need.
You spend more money on your garden than
your clothes, and you look it!
You think non-gardeners are odd enough to
merit their own taxonomic classification.
You think “blues” refer to a type of
ribbon, not a type of song.
You refuse to go on vacation during
You think deer crossing signs are
notices of opportunity, not hazard.
You invite total strangers to see your
backyard, but not your relatives.
You think the scent of cow manure is
better than the scent of Este Lauder.
You no longer own house and garden
plants; they own you.
Garden Lunacy: A
by Art Wolk. All rights reserved.
The first printing of
is sold out.
second printing will be available in January 2024.
To contact Art:
or call 856-751-8286
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